The Repeat Life & How Bills Kill Dreams

We Fear Monthly Bills

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I always look at myself and at others and wonder…why are we stuck?

People don’t dedicate 100% of their time to make their dreams come true. People don’t even dedicate 30% of their time. Why? They’re busy working.

I believe monthly bills are the root of the problem.

Could I outsource my bills in exchange for equity in my projects? That’d be an easy solution.

What’s definitely been easier is to get stuck. It’s easy to lack focus. It’s easy to indulge and give in to the immediate pleasures of a daily life, it’s easy to forget about your long-term goals…It’s easy to wake up, work and sleep. It’s easy to repeat what requires the least amount of energy. It’s physics after all: a system should be at its lower energy state for it to be stable…And we love stability.

As a result, we’re stuck in an infinite loop of a ‘Repeat Life’.

In fact, we’re the electron of our own atomic life. The bond is way too strong to be broken. All we want is an easy life. We choose comfort over change. Change is hard. Change requires energy. Change requires drive. Change is also so over-rated, isn’t it? Why change? Change is the result of a painful process. And nobody likes pain. Why would we build a legacy or make a long-lasting impact on the world while our current life isn’t actually that bad. Life is actually good. We’re kind of managing ok.

So how did we get to this?

“Some people die at age 25 and aren’t buried until they are 75.” Benjamin Franklin

How do we get to a place where we value our present way more than we value our future? (If you’re all about ‘the moment’…) How do we accept the murdering (I know, it’s an excessive choice of word) of our inner humanity to become a soul-less machine that earns a fee for the time leased out in sorting emails, tasks & writing useless reports? If only that fee was to set you free. That fee is then transferred back — in full — before the end of the month to cover all your bills & subscriptions.

69% of Americans have less than $1,000 in savings (link here). I was wrong in thinking that we need to lose everything, have our backs against the wall, for us to dig deep into that survival instinct and emerge as a winner. The reality is that I so was wrong, us humans have the extraordinary ability to get used to anything, good or bad. In that same survey, 45% of respondents said they have $0 in a savings account. And we still managed to get comfortable at that level. We are able to cope. We are able to get comfortable at $0. Humans can get used to anything, including the worst living conditions.

Millennials have mastered the lifestyle of living from paycheck to paycheck.

Again, how did we get to this?

Let’s go back to a time when there was still hope, when you are 9 years old. You are full of joy, you’re curious, you fully embrace life, you learn everything the world has to offer. You want to try everything on earth, you want to see everything, you run everywhere, ask questions, learn everything, experience everything, at every minute. You see all the imperfections of the world and you know you can fix them. You are indeed full of ideas on how you could make the world a better place.

You are alive.

Then you grow old, one paycheck at a time, did you notice how you don’t have dreams anymore? What happened to your imagination? You repeat the same life, every single day, the same routine, the same tasks, you repeat the same BS, nothing matters, nothing really interests you anymore, you just want to be a good citizen. You go to college, you get whatever degree, you apply to every job post, you’ll choose whatever job that offers you the highest paycheck. You’re only loyal to the dollar. You wake up early, to get stuck again, but this time you’re stuck in traffic, you work and patiently wait for the weekend, for your vacations, for your retirement, to eventually use those dollars that you saved up. You lived life to pay bills. You are physically alive but you’re dead from deep within. As Benjamin Franklin: “some people die at age 25 and aren’t buried until they are 75.”

How do you feel about that?

If you want to know what your future would look like: analyze your day. Our daily routine is the best predictor of our future. Sure, we build our future one day at a time. Change happens incrementally. The passing of time will take you to your own future, eventually, but that future might not be what you dreamt of.

My definition for “you’re stuck” is quite simple. “You’re stuck” if your life today is the same as what it was one year ago!

I speak from experience. When I analyze my day, I go from a meditation phase to ‘the shuffle’ really quick, I oscillate from a yoga music background to variations of the LMFAO’s musical genre, from reading a meaningful book to watching Twitch…What I’m trying to say is that I can go from wise to stupid really quick, from dreams to boring tasks really quick. Sure, I’m a Gemini, or I thought I was, but that’s what you do when you’re comfortable, you indulge. And it feels great on the moment. The Repeat Life is a coping mechanism.

And it looks like all millennials are identical (we’re all Geminis somehow).

Millennials are complex.

Millennials have something in common with Barack Obama: we make great speeches; we have that inspirational tone.

“We’re collectively in charge of humanity’s future”, I said that during one of my Barack moments. Millennials use these 5 words in every convo: impact, travels, lifestyle, healthy & podcasts.

I abuse the words “impact” & “lifestyle”.

The Repeat Life does actually offer a balanced-ish lifestyle. You don’t accomplish much, but you’re a good person, a good friend, you go to social gatherings, you laugh, you sleep well, you have a tote bag, you’re “independent” and you embrace anything as long as it is marketed to you as “an individual freedom”.

I’m not sure if we’re truly honest with ourselves when we analyze our day. As the “1st Born Millennial”, I’m sure we always come up with a BS spiritual and psychological reason as of why the Repeat Life offers a good balance. I probably could support this claim with a few data points in conjunction with statistical and behavioral models that would justify (glorify) whatever I do. Sounds familiar? A recipe for a great blog…

My reality isn’t different from other millennials. I also believe that millennials manage to “stay alive” beyond the age of 25. Somehow, our generation defies Benjamin Franklin’s wisdom.

I, too, want to make an impact, I want to be happy, make people happy, and receive a paycheck to pay for the gym, Netflix, Spotify, Amazon Prime, my dating apps and the other 50 subscriptions and bills…and save the world too when I’m done with paying all these bills.

Monthly bills bring us back down, down to a harsh reality.

Bills kill dreams.

Bills aren’t actually the problem, they’re just an expression of a deeper issue: our love for comfort. We are constantly managing ‘two personas’: one persona addicted to dreams and one addicted to bills/comfort. Only one survives.

Our dream life entertains us with big and purposeful dreams, podcasts, books, attending conferences, industry events etc. and the repeat life is a variation of the ‘Jersey Shore’ life of enjoying the day-to-day life as much as we possibly can. We sustain our comfort by ensuring we never lose our boring job that pays the bills.

The analysis of my day shows that I have a love/hate relationship with bills.

I actually don’t even receive bills by mail anymore. Communication is broken. I don’t receive email receipts either, receipts that would remind me of my monthly spent. Apple/iTunes doesn’t send me receipts, I’m so blindsided. My account is bleeding, a death by a thousand cuts. Money just leaves my account. I consented to it on a random night some years ago. That’s not how relationships should start. It’s tragic.

The whole world seems to have a direct debit relationship with my bank account. My account is polygamous, a good payer, and probably the best repeat customer.

My life is under subscriptions.

2 years ago, I tried, I experimented. I cancelled all my subscriptions.

The lockdown was a testing time. The world was ending. The world didn’t need my “impact” because there would be no world after covid. I was stuck indoors queueing online in order to get a delivery spot on Amazon Fresh. There were imposed limits on how many products I could order. Wartime measures. We thought we would all die. I couldn’t even spend money. I had more than $1,000 in savings. I was an exception. Guess what happened? My subscriptions creeped back in.

After these apps sucked every minute of my life and after I played with their content, my subscriptions couldn’t entertain me nor get me high anymore. It was another tragic moment. I needed a replacement drug. That’s when the podcasts came in. Podcasts are free. At that stage, I had splashed so much cash on digital subscriptions. Free is good, I’ll take it.

On a separate note, I listened to the whole of Spotify and watched the whole of Netflix.That would have never happened when Megaupload was around. Megaupload had way more movies than Netflix does today. Just saying. Maybe Netflix could make an effort. Can’t they hire Kim Dotcom?

Besides the podcasts, there were other stuff I could have done. I love the Shuffle, but I couldn’t get into TikTok. Would I leave my comfortable couch, stand and learn a dance routine? Nah. I like TikTok, and I can’t stop from feeling bad for LMFAO, I sincerely think they should get royalties from TikTok, it’s literally their brand, what they represented, their signature dance moves…they missed out big time on a huge payday! For now, TikTok is free. If it’s acquired by Microsoft, Bill Gates will find a way to make us pay for it, whether you use it or not, he always finds a way, assuming America manages to steal it from the Chinese.

After a long while, I exhausted the bills life, the Repeat Life was missing some excitement. I went back to the Dream Life. What podcasts would I listen to? I had to choose podcasts that would resonate with me. I decided to listen to the entrepreneurs and motivational podcasts. The lockdown lasted forever; I listened to every podcast ever recorded. A pattern emerged.

Was I trying to find a model for success? Not at all, I was innocently listening to these podcasts, they were just all quite similar, all the hundreds of them (I have an addictive personality).

At some point in a podcast, the host would ask something along these lines: “Amazing, tell us how you got there?” The answer is unique-ish but always the same: “I was so unhappy and frustrated in a well-paid but boring corporate job. I did quit to pursue my own ideas. I had the self-belief that we can do better. I met my co-founder, an amazing woman who lived an extraordinary life. She travelled Tibet in high heels without food nor water and documented every step on her blog. Her journey symbolizes the struggles that women face in our society. Many highs and lows later, our startup became the fastest growing company in the galaxy. I never expected it, nobody did, expect maybe my spiritual coach and my dog Billie. All I ever dreamt of was to make an impact and change the world for the better. I deeply committed to my mission. We worked so hard. Our startup was my family. I became so happy and we reached absolute success when we put a smile on a trillion people on Earth…”.

If I wanted to be less cynical and summarize the journey timeline in 5 steps:

1- You need to have a boring job and reject the comfort of the Repeat Life

2- You need to formulate a Dream Life: you need an idea to change the world (ideally for the better)

3- Kill the Repeat Life

4- Work really hard, commit to your mission and be insanely driven

5- Market the sh!t out of what you do: podcasts, DIY videos, blogs and tell the world that your journey could be anyone’s journey — they only need to take control over their lives.

When I listen to these podcasts, I can’t stop but think what the reality might actually be?

What’s the real story?

Walk me through those feelings? How did you feel as an entrepreneur during the first 500 days? The first 100 days, you’re so pumped up, so high, that you don’t see the emotional slap coming…

You don’t talk about the accidental journey and the emotional rollercoaster: you want to project success.

I know those feelings are ugly. I have friends who are entrepreneurs, I am an entrepreneur. One should share those feelings, analyze them, describe them, understand them. This will help others prepare before they embark onto the journey. Be transparent, success can find its root in luck, frustrations, passion, hobbies, skill.

In my experience, in addition to the above, the real timeline for success might include these:

• You hate your life, you’re alone. You’re not doing what you’re supposed to do. Today, you’re not who you’re meant to be.
• You’re actually educated and very skilled. But you’re envious of others’ success, others who are living their best lives, others who are less educated and skilled than you.
• You have money but you feel poor. You’re also broke AF on January 1s of each year — and you hate it.
• You get credit cards to earn points that will expand your purchasing power, access a business lounge, defer payments, and look cool when you take your black AmEx out of your wallet.
• You network, you go around to conferences in order to shop for a dream that resonates with you or for a career change that can emulate that dream.
• You find a dream, but you need b*lls to face your bills. Bills end up beating your dream down.
• You wait for 5 to 10 years — you feel blessed to have a job that pays the bills. Cause now you have serious responsibilities: a couple, a mortgage and maybe kids
• You got fired from that boring job (or you’re about to) because you’ve mentally checked out and your performance is questionable.
• You use the severance package and your savings to go to Ibiza or Vegas and finish at a Yoga Retreat because you’re into healthy living every day (from sunrise to sunset) but you allow yourself to indulge at night. The Repeat Life is still a part of you…
• You’re scared.
• You become an entrepreneur because you hate the corporate life so much, and that’s the real story, this has nothing to do with having a dream.
• You reconcile your hate for a corporate life with your ambition for change, if you succeed at this step, then you’re ready to build a company, a business.

I believe that you’re psychologically ready when you know that you’re not going to build a dream but you’re going to build a business, and that your employees aren’t a micro-society but an army aligned behind a commercial target. At this stage you also understand market forces. Buyers buy products that benefit them, that benefit the world, you understand their needs and you capitalize at scale. Why? Because price and volume matter.

You also understand that you could solve your monthly bills problem by getting someone to cover your life’s expenses.

Ask for help. People always forget to ask for help. Kill your ego.

Even if you have a legitimate business idea, most often, your seed investors won’t give you money to cover your expenses. The money will go into building your product.

Maybe you should offer equity to friends and family for them to cover your rent, transport and food expenses for 1 year…? If your cousin offers you a roof for one year, offer her equity. If your best friends will cover all your meal for a year, offer them equity. Be transparent and tell your close ones that you need support while you build your company. If that’s not an option, then take the route of asking (professional) investors — they might still not help you with your bills problem but you might be able to pay yourself a salary.

All you might have to do is create a well thought presentation deck and pitch it to:

• Friends & Family
• Kickstater / Indiegogo
• Angel investors
• Incubators
• Agencies that offer grants
• VCs

I would also recommend that you meet 10 entrepreneurs who are at various stages intheir journey and ask tons of personal questions. You need to really narrow down how they launched their business and how they jumped from the corporate life into the entrepreneur life. You need a personal perspective, that’s what those podcasts were missing. How did they manage their bills? How did they manage their personal relationships? How did they find money when they needed it? Who did they borrow money from? How many “no” they got? Who helped them? How and why did they get help?

I don’t believe in those survival guides to make $100k/yr. That’s not a scalable solution and that takes you away from working on your goals. Those get-rich schemes are just another version of the Repeat Life.

That’s why I wrote that “bills kill dreams”. And I’m sad to say that I don’t have a solution to this problem. I know you’ve read all the above and might have expected a simple how-to. Sorry!

All I know is that there is a funding problem and that’s the problem that I want to solve. I also know that we don’t listen to the world and get the world to solve problems, in the same way that we used distributed systems, parallel CPUs and clusters in computational science. There are millions of ideas and people out there that should be heard. How can we get them to share their ideas? I also don’t get why we expect those who come up with genius ideas to also be the best product maker, the best financial guru, the best salesperson and public speaker. Kids can come up with amazing ideas too. My parents are over 60, have a wealth of experience and often share brilliant ideas with us, but they’d never start a company for the sake of creating a vehicle for their ideas, they are detached from any commercial need. Their thoughts, like the thoughts and ideas of many others, are sadly wasted.

Imagine having access to 8 billion computers but only powering 10 computers?

We need to document and share all the stories of how one goes from the corporate life to the entrepreneur life, from an emotional perspective. We need to document how one deals with this transition: sorting bills out, asking for help, talking to people, managing self-doubt and dealing with all the fears and stress of running out of money. I want to listen to podcasts that cover these topics with super well-known entrepreneurs. I don’t want to listen to a random coach with no proven track-record.

The feedback will help a lot of people in understanding the fear cycle associated to monthly bills and how they can get out of it, in their own ways.

People need to find a way to kill the fear of the monthly bills before it kills humanity’s dreams.